I’m a bit of a cheapskate. Always have been. That’s difficult for me to admit, but I think the first step in trying to change it.

People, particularly family members, have told me this for years, but I suppose I’ve been in denial.

Once we had a company party. My son, Adam, showed up and sat down to eat with us. There, surrounded by the folks who work for me, he began regaling them with tales of the way I cling to money.

He ordered a coke with his meal.

&uot;This is great,&uot; he said. &uot;We hardly ever get to go out to eat and when we do, Dad complains the whole time.&uot;

Then, doing a perfect Dad, said &uot;I could eat for a week on rice and beans on what I just paid for that damn chicken sandwich and fries.’&uot;

He won’t even let us order drinks,&uot; he continued, after noticing that he had captured everyone’s attention. &uot; ‘I’m not going to pay a dollar seventy-five for six cents worth of sugary syrup mixed with water and ice.’ He makes us wait until we get home to eat so we can get a drink there.&uot;

He also openly discussed my propensity to buy non brand name foods at the grocery story. It was pretty funny, I guess.

I really didn’t mind it that much. I’ve always taken a certain amount of pride in the way I try to hang on to money. Rather than cheap, I’ve always thought of myself as frugal. Frugality was something to which we were taught to aspire as children.

To this day, my 80-year-old mother, whenever we talk, asks me if I’m trying to be smart with my money, telling me I should take my lunch to work everyday, turn the lights out at home, etc. I do always bring my lunch. I tell others, and myself, that it’s because I’m a vegetarian and health conscious, but it’s really because I can’t stand the thought of parting with five bucks for a sandwich, and, as Adam noted, I could buy a loaf of bread and eat for a week on that.

I’ve come to realize, though, that I’m not frugal, just cheap. I’ve been listening to the life of Benjamin Franklin on tape (checked out of the library of course, I wouldn’t spend money on it). Franklin was frugal. However, I realized listening to the tape that frugality implies a certain shrewdness with money. People thought of as frugal are cheap, sure, but they also manage to save their money and use it wisely. I guess I’m just cheap because I never have any money and have little saved to speak of.

I guess I’m just no good with money. I don’t know what happens to it. I make a pretty good living, I guess. No complaints, but making ends meet is a constant struggle. Thank goodness for my wife. Somehow, Cathy manages to do it. I’ve come to accept that she’s just much smarter than I when it comes to handling money.

For instance, one of our cars is on its last leg. My wife wants an SUV so that she can keep the kids separated while we’re traveling. I’ve been looking around for a decent used one, but she wants a new one, a luxury one at that. This originally about gave me a heart attack, but she sat me down recently and showed me how we can take on this large monthly payment, double what we are paying for fuel and probably triple the cost of our car insurance with Adam now of age to drive, and still come out in better shape financially than we are now with our paid-for car that gets decent mileage and has liability coverage only.

After she finished explaining it, I sat there like an idiot scratching my head trying to comprehend her math.

&uot;It’s really simple,&uot; she said, obviously getting a little frustrated with my obtuseness. &uot;Remember last year when I was getting the diamond ring? It’s the same kind of thing.&uot;

I never did figure it out. I just thank God everyday that my wife is there to keep things in order for me. I’d surely be in the poorhouse without her.

Andy Prutsok is editor and publisher of the News-Herald. He can be reached at 934-9611, or via email at andy.Prutsok@suffolknewsherald.com.