By Thurman Hayes

Today is a special day for the Hayes family. It’s hard to believe, but our oldest daughter, Courtney Elizabeth Hayes, is graduating from high school.

It seems like Dec. 16, 1999 was only yesterday. That’s the day that this sweet girl entered the world. And the moment I laid eyes on her, my life changed. I was already a dad at that point, and the birth of my son was life-changing. But the birth of my first little girl — followed 22 months later by another little girl — has altered my worldview and made me more aware of things that girls and women face in this world.

The last couple of weeks have brought a great deal of focus on the issue of abuse in my own family of churches, the Southern Baptist Convention. While I am deeply grateful that God has spared my own family from abuse, it hurts to know that abuse has happened within my denominational family. Thankfully, this issue will be addressed as Southern Baptists gather in Dallas next week. As a family of churches, the SBC has experienced a great deal of humiliation over the past couple of months, but I’m praying that it will be the beginning of healing.

At any rate, the issue of abuse in our culture is something that we all need to be mindful of. As a dad, I have spent a great deal of time talking about this with my own family, and I would encourage you, as a parent or grandparent, to make it a topic of conversation in your own family. Awareness is key.

4Be aware of the presence of the abusers among us. There are some sick people in this broken world. They are predators, and they look for easy targets. But if children or young adults are aware of the presence of these predators, they will be on guard against them.

4Be aware of the use of power in abuse. This power may take the form of physical power, of a male overpowering a female, or an adult overpowering a child. But it could also take the form of positional power, of someone in a position of authority in the workplace taking advantage of someone under his or her authority. It could take the form of socio-economic power, as someone with financial means seeks out a victim without the financial means to fight back.

4Be aware of the tendency to protect abusers. This is at the heart of what happened in at least one SBC seminary, where the administration told a female rape victim not to report the crime to the authorities. This is morally and biblically wrong. Romans 13 tells us that God has ordained governmental authorities to protect the innocent and bring justice to those who prey on the innocent. When sexual or physical abuse has occurred, it should immediately be reported to law enforcement. This is necessary to protect the innocent and punish the abuser, making it less likely that others will suffer at their hands.

No woman or child should have to live in the home with an abuser. If a husband is abusing a wife, or a parent is abusing a child, it is a law enforcement issue. The abused needs protection, not the abuser.

Dr. Thurman R. Hayes Jr. is senior pastor of First Baptist Church of Suffolk. Follow him on Twitter at @ThurmanHayesJr.