By Frank Roberts

“Holy smoke!” Where did that phrase come from? There’s nothing “holy” about smoke, especially when it emanates from a “cancer stick,” a cigarette, that is. And what about “holy cow”? I don’t know too many churchgoing bovines.

There is, however, a phrase about a man using a stone for a pillow. You won’t find that in one of those un-funny furniture store ads, but you will find it in Genesis 28:11. Still, he probably had a decent night’s sleep.

Speaking of sleeping, did you hear the one about the giant who had a bed that was 13 feet, 6 inches long by six feet wide? It’s in Deuteronomy 3:11.

The uncomfortable one was Og, king of Bashan, and we also learn the bed was made of iron. This giant was pretty rugged.

There is a phrase in the Good Book that tells us that the sun and the moon stood still for a whole day. Sounds like sci-fi, but it’s in Joshua 10:13. You might want to read the entire interesting paragraph.

Another giant, this one in 2 Samuel 21:20, is described as having six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. He’d be a candidate for Ripley’s Believe It or Not today.

A giant-sized problem faced Solomon in 1 Kings 11:1-3, where we learn he had 700 wives (mother-in-law problems might follow) and 300 concubines. It goes on to note that “his wives turned away his heart,” a situation that is with us to this day.

My favorite Bible is a King James version given to me in January 1957 by one of my dearest friends, the Rev. James MacKenzie, who pastored the Edenton (N.C.) Presbyterian Church.

When I worked at a radio station in that town, I had a variety of ministers come to the studio. Mac’s notes were in longhand in an old-school notebook, and what he had to say was very impressive.

We were not only good friends but also fellow performers. We did an old-fashioned vaudeville act, touring with it in a variety of locales.

Fortunately, there were no misprints or odd interpretations. A 16th-century Bible had Psalm 91:5 saying “… so that thou shalt not nede to be afrayed for any bugges at night.” Subsequent editions changed “bugges” to “terror.” An 18th-century Bible said that Philip denied Jesus. That was, of course, Peter.

As recently as 1966 came this goof: “pay for peace,” instead of “pray for peace.” Worse than that was a Bible printed in 1631 that said, “Thou shalt commit adultery.” The word ‘not’ got lost somewhere.

My wife and I taught Sunday School for about 40 years, doing our best to keep the kindergarteners straight, spiritually. These days, those little ones have their own sets of little Southern Baptists.

One more thing, and then I will move on. If you want to read the entire Bible you will read about 773,692 words, depending on the translation you use.

During a 60-year career spanning newspapers, radio and television, Frank Roberts has been there and done that. Today, he’s doing it in retirement from North Carolina, but he continues to keep an eye set on Suffolk and an ear cocked on country music. Email him at froberts73@embarqmail.com.