Since the French Fry Resolution debacle of 2006, I’ve resolved not to make New Year’s resolutions. So this particular column will definitely not be about the weight I wish I could lose or the hope that I will have more time to read the stacks and stacks of books I’ve been meaning to read since before I entered the workforce.

Instead, I thought it would be a good time to see what lessons we can learn from the presents we all just opened.

No matter who you are, there’s a fair chance that you’ve received a few presents that you just can’t figure out how they can be good. So without further ado, I give you my list of the top five “bad” Christmas presents and why they can be seen as the best.

• The gag gift: Whether it’s a candy in the shape of coal or a penguin that dispenses chocolate from its bum, it’s a gift that’s not worth laughing about. But take heart. It makes a great candidate for re-gifting to your least-favorite coworker. Just be careful to give it to a coworker who isn’t likely to report you to human resources.
• A book or movie you’ve already read or seen: First of all, this gift is really a reminder that the person who gave it to you is a good enough friend to know and appreciate your taste. Also, if you already own the book or movie, you can always return it. If you get enough gifts worth returning, you could make enough money to buy yourself something you really wanted. Like a subscription to Bacon Weekly.
• Socks: When you were 6 years old, there was nothing worse than going through all the trouble of ripping open wrapping paper only to discover a pile of socks. But getting socks now means that you never have to worry about the laundry fairy stealing your socks — you always have an extra bag of fresh socks ready to take their place.
• Fruit in your stocking instead of candy: In a holiday that often is used as an excuse for indulging, fruit seems a little out of place, but with the height of flu season just around the corner, a little citrus could be just the ticket to making sure you get to spend New Year’s Eve at a great party instead of at the hospital.
• The hand-knit item: You know the one. It’s usually made out of a blend of wool and thorns specifically designed to cause a painful and itchy allergic reaction. It’s also most likely an item you would never wear, such as a short-sleeved sweater or floor-length poncho. So why is this such a great present? Because it means that despite her lack of skill, your great-aunt cared enough about you to toil for hours to create your gift. And as we know, love is really the best gift of all.

I hope you had a joyful Christmas. Remember, there’s really no such thing as a bad gift, since at the very least, every gift represents a person who was thinking about you over the holidays.