It’s nice to go to lunch with the guys when you have good news to share. Of course, my friends knowing me as they do, they were probably figuring my good news would involve me finding a new way to incorporate bacon or country ham into yet another meal. So when I shared the good news of my last medical results, I could tell they were more than a little surprised.

Blood sugar. Normal.

Blood pressure. Normal.

Cholesterol levels, both good and bad. Pretty normal.

Naturally, the guys couldn’t help but respond as only guys can.

“But you’re still so fat,” an anonymous and potentially former friend said.

And while I felt the slight sting of being accused of being a bit robust by my very good compadre, I can’t help but acknowledge the truth in his reaction to my newfound healthiness. Because I always thought being healthy would look a lot different than it does.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about all the good feedback from my doctor — a lady whom I still can’t convince to reintroduce deep fried foods into my diet — but I always imagined a new guy in my mirror when I achieved this milestone.

I thought he’d be able to brush his teeth without getting winded. But this healthy guy can’t. I thought this guy wouldn’t dread the thought of tying his shoes, because rolling himself around his treasured, bulbous food storage system to reach his feet is simply more than he can bear. But that’s how it is. I thought the new healthy guy would be able to walk from the parking lot to the office without wanting to lie down in the flowerbed for a quick nap. But this guy does.

So maybe healthy has a new look in this day and age. And maybe I’m just unfamiliar with the new look of a healthy person, since it’s a suit I haven’t tried on in many years.

Take a look, then, Suffolkians. Because the next time you see me out and about you are looking at the new look for a healthy human being. It’s robust. It’s bulky. But, with the assistance of the right armada of medications, it works somehow.

But seriously, I’m very happy with completing stage one of my wellness plan, which is being healthy with the assistance of medication. Stage two is to become healthy without the assistance of medication. And it should be the ultimate goal for everyone suffering from ailments that keep them tied to a pill bottle.

In this economy, being healthy should mean being able to get through the day without needing hundreds of dollars in medications. Eating right and getting proper exercise still cuts out a lot of the need to take medication.

And even though I’m content with the current look of healthiness that I’m wearing, a pill-free suit of healthiness is the one I’m dying to put on these days. Because I’m hoping that one also comes with a smaller belt size.