It’s official: I’ve been pollinated. I should be the father of two small pine trees and one small oak tree in a few months.

Based on the amount of pollen I’ve inhaled during the past few weeks and the amount of sniffling and sneezing that I’ve reported, my doctors predict that the small trees — or rather saplings — should be very healthy upon their birth.

Me and the saplings’ other parent — the trees in my front yard — are excited about the news and will do our best to raise them to be strong, vibrant trees in the community, offering their shade for all who need it.

The next hurdle will be our first sonogram, set for mid-May. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a healthy loblolly pine and strong live oak.

Now while the previous statement was made in jest, I honestly cannot remember a time in my life that I have been more miserable when it comes to seasonal allergies.

I am not sure if it is the historic pollen levels we’ve experienced or simply getting used to a new part of the country, but I have been down for the count lately.

I’ve had concerned members of the staff wonder why I’ve been crying. I haven’t — my eyes are red from the allergies, and my nose is nearing record sniffle levels. I’ve had friends in the community ask if I’m getting enough sleep due to me being a little groggy. Nope, I’m sleeping fine, but with the volume of anti-histamines I’m taking I should be able to withstand anthrax at this point — and it takes a toll.

But even though I am trying out for the next Nyquil commercial with all the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching and stuffy head I’ve endured, I imagine it could have been a lot worse.

With the cold weather this winter and the quick heat wave we had a few weeks ago, the trees and plants really didn’t know what to do with themselves except to dust the entire area in yellow.

Never in my life have I heard weather reports on local television reporting pollen levels by the inch … but we had it here.

But even with my allegories, the beautiful spring weather has given me and everyone else the opportunity to get out and enjoy the beautiful area we live in.

The community events on the weekend are really starting to pick up and the excuses we all used to stay in doors during the winter have all gone away.

So, I will drug up, get my eye drops and head outside. There’s plenty to do, and the weather is just right for doing it.